I made a choice. A choice to be happier. I deserve to be happier.  After hitting a lot or rocks recently on a very very steep decent.  Im broken, bruised, and bloodied. I also have decided my life as it currently was – sucks. Im choosing to change.  I’m choosing to be happy.

How? How does one ‘choose’ to be happy? By understanding the broader picture.  I’m not a broad picture kinda gal. I’m a here and now kinda gal.. and the past sorta tacks itself on  secretly and before ya know it…. there is a engine pulling a long train of ‘suck’ and my day is ruined.  I turn into a short tempered, mean, spiteful troll.

I need help understanding the big picture. I am using an app in chrome – illuum (http://illuum.com/).   It statistically shows you your happiness.  Nothing like a big fat empirical ’depressed whiner’.  I haven’t been using it very long – and already I show small changes. Knowing that I have to justify how some change at work made my day go south .. keeps things in perspective. So, I choose to not let things get to me.  Which means I have more patience at home – which makes home more relaxed. Less fighting makes me relaxed.

win. win.

“A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy and nothing can stop him.”

–Alexander Solzenitsyn

Its amazing how the more you have going on – the bigger mother natures boot is when it meets your ass.  Pretty sure this one was so large and she it so perfectly – there might have been violation.

This cold is kicking my ass. I woke up Sunday feeling a bit off. However boy toy was at the game with his friends and I had plans to do some holiday shopping for moi and possibly meet up with friends.  After a frazzeling start to my day (damn car seats) I am ready to go.  I have been feeling a bit peckish all morning however I chalk it up to the wonderful start to my day.  If you didn’t read that last part with sarcasm – go back and do it to make sense going forward.

I did enjoy time with Einstein and meeting up with good friends before heading home.  Feeling a bit tired I decided Einstein had the right idea and settled in for a nap.  Somehow I think this was a bad idea. Upon waking from the wonderful nap – I realize I feel like shit. Are you serious? Sore throat, body aches that made pregnancy look like a good alternative, and a migraine from Iceland. No, the migraine wasn’t from hell – hell is warm and fuzzy when you feel like crap – like sitting by a nice warm fire with your favorite blanket and a cup of cocoa. No this was a freezing frigid painful place – so its Iceland.

I feel bad – as soon as boy toy came home I checked the f* out. Slept on and off for most of the rest of the day and night before emailing into work Monday. Spent most of Monday sleeping – which felt great until about 230 am.  Wide – damn – awake.  Finally after tossing and turning and trying all sorts of tricks I gave up and puttered on the computer a bit before getting up and getting into work by 7.  Needless to say by the time I got home I was exhausted.

And seeing as how I am still exhausted and the medicine has finally kicked in to where I can mostly breath and have  - knock on wood – stopped coughing my head is demanding some sleep.

“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. ”
― Erma Bombeck

It seems now a days there is very little time in my day for anything.  I get up, go to work, come home and take of my son until he goes to bed. I get about half an hour before Im to exhausted and fall asleep. Rinse and repeat.  With busy season ramping up for work – its just re-aligning where my hours are put and in some cases adding hours.

Work has been interesting. For those that don’t know – I work for an online software company that provides evaluation software.  We specialize in course evaluations as well as retention and employee engagement surveys. This means that the months at the end of semesters are the busiest for us.  This means more drama, more hours, and more headaches.  For some reason – while there seem to be less headaches in terms of number – the size of the headache seems to have grown in size.   Thankfully we will get a small break as higher education goes on leave until after the new year.  Then its results.  Then there is a short break in February – however March sees us ramping back up for the next season.  I decided it doesn’t matter how much it costs when they want human subjects for clone testing – I am volunteering.

All he busy means that I have not been spending as much time working on my project which I want to have running for spring.  I’m behind behind behind.

Christmas is almost upon us. Tomorrow is holiday with the extended family on the hubs side. It’ll be interesting seeing Einsteins reaction to Santa this year. Last year at 3 months he was less than interested.

He said his first words – up and down. He even understands what they mean as he stands and squats going up, down. He also likes zipping zippers .. up… down.  I think i should feel slighted his first word wasn’t Momma.

I have managed with my lack of exercise and busy stressful schedule to loose a few of my extra pounds.  Its amazing how stress and being to busy to eat helps cut down on the weight.  Not that I feel any thinner.  I really need to just make time  and kick the kid and hubs out of the house a few times a week so I can get some peace.

“Procrastination is like masturbation.  At first it feels good, but in the end you’re only screwing yourself. “

There are really only two requirements when it comes to exercise.  One is that you do it.  The other is that you continue to do it.

I did finish phase 1 .. and over 1k burned. whoot.

Husband stopped home for a bit for food and left again to go back to work. I tried another half hour but gave up.  I did manage to get in my half hour workout mostly  in peace.  He sat next to me for a lot of it watching me and the screen like I was nuts.  I’m sure I looked it.   During the cool down it was jump on mom time. Nothing like trying to do hip presses and having your kid do a body splash on you.

I’m feeling good.  I didnt get a chance to work out Monday or Tuesday – so Im a bit behind. However with the change in the diet – I’m doing well.  I’m down another 1.8lbs since I think Saturday when I last weighed myself. Thats about 3.3lbs in a tad over a week.  Not to shabby me thinks.

I set my goal for 20lbs in 6 months.

Wii Fit put my wii fit age at 29.. <dances>

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